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Wedding vows
Who wrote the first wedding vows?

Wedding vows

Who wrote the first wedding vows?

The exact origins of wedding vows as a formal part of wedding ceremonies remain unclear. They likely began as simple promises exchanged between couples, evolving over time to incorporate religious and cultural elements.

In medieval Christian ceremonies, vows became formalized, emphasizing commitment and fidelity. However, you won't find any specific set of these vows in the Bible. Weddings, yes (see for example John 2) but formal wedding vows as we know them today aren’t explicitly detailed.

However, the Bible does offer moral principles and teachings related to marriage  which have kept mankind's continuity for millennia. Yes, the Bible is indeed an awesome book!

Beginning in the 11th century, the Sarum Rites included vows which emphasized the sacramental nature of marriage. They also enabled the couple to express their consent to marry each other, promise life-long fidelity, and ask God for his blessing on their union. The vows were undoubtedly based on Scripture, but the liturgical texts likely varied across different cultural and geographical regions.

Nevertheless, here's an example:

From the priest to the groom:
Vis habere hanc mulierem in sponsam et eam diligere et honorare, tenere et custodire, sanam et infirmam, et sicut sponsus debet sponsam: et omnes alias propter eam dimittere et illi soli adhaerere, quamdiu vita utriusque duraverit?
Do you wish to have this woman as your wife, to love and honour her, to hold and protect her, in health and infirmity, and as a husband is obliged to do for his wife, and to forsake all other women and cleave to her alone, as long as both of your lives will last?
From the priest to the bride:
Vis habere hunc virum in sponsum, et illi obedire et servire, et eum diligere et honorare, ac custodire sanum et infirmum, et sicut sponsa debet sponsum: et omnes alios propter eum dimittere, et illi soli adhaerere, quamdiu vita utriusque vestrum duraverit?
Do you want to have this man as your husband, to obey and serve him, to love and honour him, in health and infirmity, and as a wife is obliged to do for her husband: and to forsake all other men and cleave to him alone, as long as both of your lives will last?
From the groom:
I, ___, take thee, ___, to my weddyd wyf, to have and to hold fro thys day forwarde, for better for wors, for richer for porer, in sikenesse and in helthe, tyl deth us departe, yf holy Chyrche wyl it ordeyne; and thereto I plyght the my trouthe.
I, ___, take you, ___, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death us part, if holy Church wills it as ordained; and to this, I pledge my faithfulness.
From the bride:
I, ___, take thee, ___, to my weddyd husbonde, to have and to hold fro thys day forwarde, for better for wurs, for richere, for porer, in sikenesse and in helthe, to be bonoure and buxum in bed and at bord, tyll deth us departe, yf holy Chyrche wyl it ordeyne; and therto I plyght the my trouth.
I, ___, take you, ___, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to be faithful and obedient in bed and at table, until death us part, if holy Church wills it; and to this, I pledge my faithfulness.

In the 16th century, the Church began to formalize wedding vows in the first Book of Common Prayer, laying the groundwork for the vows we use today.

The Church of England still uses vows from the (later) Book of Common Prayer (1662) but most weddings today use more contemporary language found in The Marriage Service from Common Worship (2000), as shown on the English vows page

Non-English wedding vows

In addition to English wedding vows, these pages offer English translation for vows in many different languages. Whilst some of these may be quite exotic, we advise against using them simply to make your wedding sound cool.

Exchanging vows in a language that your guests don't understand should be approached with caution, as those guests are important witnesses to the commitments you make.

Klingon, Latin, Esperanto, or any other fancy language, offers no advantage over vows expressed in words that you, your partner, your families and friends can fully understand.

...and finally, nomenclature

We've been asked: "Should we say 'wedding vows' or 'marriage vows'?

Our answer: The terms are largely synonymous, but they can carry slightly different connotations. "Wedding vows" refer specifically to those made during the wedding ceremony, whereas "marriage vows" can encompass the ongoing promises and continuous commitments that extend beyond the wedding ceremony itself.

Whatever you prefer to call them, make sure you keep them!

Ephesians 5:22-33 about requirements for the married couple to love, respect and submit to each other.

Malachi 2:14 espouses a covenantal relationship, not only with each other, but also with God.

Genesis 2:24 point to monogamous unity and faithful commitment for a married couple, echoed in
Exodus 20:14 and Hebrews 13:4 condemning adultery.

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