English

The English language is notorious for its

odd and distinctive characteristics.
deviations from the standard rules and expectations
strange and unconventional traits
subtle differences and fine points in meaning and use
instances where words do not follow normal grammatical patterns
unusual habits and features unique to English

As with most other languages, English is in a perpetual state of evolution, albeit not in a coordinated manner. Its numerous inconsistencies arise from a complex historical development and the influence of diverse linguistic sources.

And here are just a few examples of those quirks.

Fish'n'chips

Fish

How to spell fish

George Bernard Shaw is said (by some sources) to have written a London Times article when he was campaigning for spelling reform, giving the following example:

If gh is pronounced f as in enough
If o is pronounced i as in women
If th is pronounced sh as in motion
Then the spelling of fish should be ghoti

Chips

How to spell potato

Many people remember way back in 1992, when the then Vice-President Dan Quayle's image was unfairly destroyed by a simple spelling mistake. At the Luis Munoz Rivera School he 'helped' a 12-year old student spell the word potato. Although the student had already spelt the word correctly, Quayle added an "e" to the end of the word. Not that it matters one jot of course, there are much more important things for a vice-president to worry about; like himself and the president being voted out of office a few months later.

Sew, if you have difficulty spelling sum times, take hart - your not a loan!

Here's yet another alternative spelling of potato:

If gh is pronounced p as in hiccough
If ough is pronounced o as in dough
If phth is pronounced t as in phthisis
If eigh is pronounced a as in neighbour
If tte is pronounced t as in gazette
If eau is pronounced o as in beau
Then the spelling of potato should be ghoughphtheightteeau

More spelling quirks

Why isn't 'phonetic' spelt the way it sounds?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell 'mnemonic'?
Why is 'dyslexic' so hard to spell?
Synonym: A word you can use when you can't spell the other one. (Is there another word for a synonym?)
Is it a coincidence that the only 15 letter word that can be spelt without repeating a letter is 'uncopyrightable'?
Why can't you make another word using all the letters in 'anagram'?
Why do some people type 'cool' as 'kewl'?
Why isn't 'palindrome' spelt the same way backwards?

Plurals

We'll begin with a box and the plural is boxes.
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.

The one fowl is a goose but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of mouse is never meese.

You may found a lone mouse or a whole set of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I speak of a foot and you show me your feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why should not the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural wouldn't be hose.
And the plural of cat is cats and not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say Mother, we never say Methren,

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis and shim,

So English, I fancy you will all agree,
Is the funniest language you ever did see.

'Spelt' - British English
'Spelled' - American English

Having an international audience, this site tends to follow the more common British spelling.

A palindrome is a word that is the same whether read left to right or right to left. For example 'racecar' and 'kayak'. Composing palindromic sentences is a popular pastime for those boooring Monday morning meetings, and include:

Borrow or rob?
Do geese see God?
We panic in a pew.
Never odd or even.
Ana, nab a banana.
A nut for a jar of tuna.
Was it Eliot's toilet I saw?
Dennis and Edna sinned.
Oozy rat in a sanitary zoo
Murder for a jar of red rum.
Madam in Eden, I'm Adam.
A man, a plan, a canal: Panama!
Go hang a salami. I'm a lasagna hog.
Are we not drawn onward, we few, drawn onward to new era?

...and our favourite:

The space ship maneuvered to the middle of the football field. A ramp lowered down and an alien walked down to the ground and said, "Dias dnad nuorgeh tot nwod deklaw neila nad nanwod derewolp marad leifl lab too feht foeld dimeht ot der evuen ampih secap seht!"

... or was it the Los Angeles Times?

If anyone can provide documentary evidence that such an article actually appeared, we'd be interested to see it.

In the 1980s, Charles E Robinson, a professor of English at Delaware University, found a letter written in December 1855 by the English publisher Charles Ollier to his friend, an English essayist and poet, Leigh Hunt. The letter included: "My son William has hit upon a new method of spelling 'fish'...", followed by the formula shown on this page.