The Parson of Puddle

by Greatrex Newman (1938)

The Parson of Puddle was a song-monologue written by the concert party and revue specialist Greatrex (Rex) Newman.

It is full of gems such as "second leftooty" (2nd leuitenant) and of course "O lack a day" (alas, misery).

In his stage performance, radio broadcast and recording, Stanley Holloway used his 'clergyman' voice and, with its mild double-entendre, it was considered quite risque at the time.

In the sweet little, neat little,
Only one street little
Parish of Puddle
O'er which I preside.

There dwells a young lady
whose name is O'Grady
prefixed by the Christian names Caroline Sady,

And rumour has stated,
The facts circulated,
That she is as thin as a lath,
And I'm bound to admit

That she is every bit,
For I saw her today in her bath...
chair and noticed the fact plain to see.

O lack a day, O lack a day, O lack a day me.

In the high little,
Spry little, feel rather dry little
Parish of Puddle
O'er which I preside,

We had a school outing
With races and shouting,
For little girl guides and little boys scouting

And when all the teachers
Were cooling their features
With something that fizzed in a glass
One said "Don't you think

You'd like something to drink"
I said "Yes, I should like a small Bass...
-ket of strawberries
With cream and some tea."

In the bright little,
Tight little, stay out all night little,
Parish of Puddle
O'er which I preside,

It fell to my duty
To wed a stage beauty
To one of the Air Forces second leftooty
In every relation

Showed great jubilation
When just as a twelve month had run
One fine Wednesday night
With the greatest delight

She presented her spouse with a son...
Day school hymn book
That cost One and three.

In the blank little,
swank little, two pubs and bank little
Parish of Puddle
o'er which I preside

A spinster named Mary
Once opened a dairy
And as new laid eggs, seemed to be necessary,
She purchased some hens

In most beautiful pens,
But when egg collecting she went,
She found with dismay
That those birds could not lay

For each of those fowls was a gentle...
and shy little rooster you see.
O lack a day, O lack a day, O lack a day me.