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Monologues

by Marriott Edgar, Stanley Holloway and others

Marriott Edgar wrote comical poems for the pleasure of all generations, particularly in the North of England.

(more abaht them 'ere monologues...)

List by title
(Also known as)
Author List by 1st line
Albert Down UnderMEAlbert were what you'd call 'thwarted'
Many Happy ReturnsAdBDown at the school house at Runcorn
Albert EvacuatedSHHave you heard how young Albert Ramsbottom
Queen MatildaMEHenry the first, surnamed 'Beauclare'
Henry the SeventhMEHenry the Seventh of England
Yorkshire PuddenRW&BLHi waitress, excuse me a minute, now listen
Canute the GreatMEI'll tell of Canute, King of England
The Fair Rosamond
(The Fair Rosamund)
MEI'll tell of King 'Enry the Second
1066
(The Battle of Hastings)
MEI'll tell of the Battle of Hastings
The Magna CharterMEI'll tell of the Magna Charter
Gunner JoeMEI'll tell you a seafaring story
Three Ha'pence a FootMEI'll tell you an old-fashioned story
Balbus
(The Great Wall of China)
MEI'll tell you the story of Balbus
Jonah and the Grampus
(Jonah and the Whale)
MEI'll tell you the story of Jonah
George and the DragonMEI'll tell you the tale of an old country pub
Beat the Retreat On Thy Drum
(Sam, Sam, Beat the Retreat)
SHI'm hundred and two today' bagoom!
Sweeney Todd, the BarberRW&BLIn Fleet Street that's in London Town
The Parson of PuddleGNIn the clean little, green little
With Her Head Tucked Underneath Her ArmRW&BLIn the Tower of London, large as life
Old Sam
(Sam, Pick Oop Tha' Musket)
SHIt occurred on the evening before Waterloo
Old Sam's Christmas Pudding
(Sam's Christmas Pudding)
MEIt was Christmas Day in the trenches
The Burghers of CalaisMEIt were after the Battle of Crecy
Goalkeeper JoeMEJoe Dunn were a bobby for football
Joe RamsbottomMEJoe Ramsbottom rented a bit of a farm
AsparagusMEMr Ramsbottom went to the races
One Each Apiece All RoundSHNo. 2468
The BeefeaterRW&BLOh dear, starting another day I suppose
Alt! Who Goes There?SHOld Sam first came to London
The Jubilee Sov'rinMEOn Jubilee Day the Ramsbottoms
The Runcorn Ferry
(Tuppence per person per trip)
MEOn the banks of the Mersey, over on Cheshire side
Albert and the 'EadsmanMEOn young Albert Ramsbottom's birthday
Albert and His SavingsMEOne day, little Albert Ramsbottom
The 'Ole in the ArkMEOne evening at dusk as Noah stood on his Ark
Brahn BootsRW&BLOur Aunt Hannah's passed away
Richard Coeur-de-LionMERichard the fiirst, Coeur-de-Lion
Sam Goes To ItMESam Small had retired from the Army
Sam's SturgeonASSam Small were fishing in canal
Old Sam's PartyMCSam Small, though approaching his eightieth year
St. George and the DragonRW&BLSome folks'll boast about their family trees
The Recumbent PostureMEThe day after Christmas, Young Albert
William RufusMEThe reign of King William the Second
The Lion and Albert
(Albert and the Lion)
METhere's a famous seaside place called Blackpool
Up'ards
(Lancashire version of Longfellow's "Excelsior")
METwere getting dusk
Sam Drummed OutRW&BLWhen a lad's been drummed out or the Army
Little Aggie
(An Elephant Never Forgets)
MEWhen Joe Dove took his elephants out on the road
Marksman SamMEWhen Sam Small joined the regiment
Sam's RacehorseMEWhen Sam Small retired from the Army
The Channel SwimmerMEWould you hear a wild tale of adventure
Sam's medalMC&MHYou've 'eard of Samuel Small, per'aps
The Return of Albert
(Albert Comes Back / Albert's Return)
MEYou've 'eard 'ow young Albert Ramsbottom
Albert's ReunionSHYou've heard of Albert Ramsbottom
Authors
AdBArchie de Bear
ASAshley Sterne
GNGreatrex Newman
MCMabel Constanduros
MC&MHMabel Constanduros and Michael Hogan
MEMarriot Edgar
RW&BLR P Weston and Bert Lee
SHStanley Holloway

Dedicated to my father, who died a few months after these pages were added to this website.

Most of the accompanying illustrations were scanned from his books, which will be forever treasured, along with the fond memories of him reciting the poems after tea on Sunday afternoons.

Thanks Dad.

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