Said the headmaster "Don't let's be funny,
Or you'll be here all day I can see;
So who'll give a serious guess now,
Come on, just between you and me."
Then in walked the junior tutor,
In a very old mortar board hat.
He said "I hear there's a game on,
Well, I'd like a basin of that."
Said the headmaster "Mind your own business,
And kindly do not interfere -
Or you'll lose half your rasher of bacon,
And all your allowance of beer."
The tutor said "Don't be a cad, Sir,
I don't wish to make any noise;
But you might at least try to be sporting,
If only in front or the boys."
With that he swept out of the classroom,
Fearing the look that he saw -
For he knew that in less than two seconds,
He'd get such a sock in the jaw.
Then in came the language professor,
French teaching was one of his jobs,
So he bowed to the Head and said "Bonjour,"
And the Head said "Bonjour, avec knobs."
"But if you've come here to give lessons,
You can take it from me - it's no bon
Because today's a holiday. Savvy?
So you might as well allez-vous en."
Then a small voice called "Sir, why it's easy,
Forty-four is your age I should say."
Said the master "Now what a remarkable thing,
You've guessed my right age to the day."
Said the boy "Well my brother is just twenty-two"
Said the headmaster "What's that to me?"
'Well, Sir, if he's twenty-two you must be forty-four,
'Cos he's only half barmy - see."
Then the whole class joined in the school anthem
Which nobody wanted to shirk:
"For he's a jolly good fellow,
So long as we don't have to work."