"Oh well," said Sam, "Ah suppose you're right
I didn't know t'were thee."
The King says "No offence, me lad,
come in for a cup o' tea."
"I'd like a cup of tea," said Sam,
"Ah don't mind if I do."
The Queen pours cup of tea and says,
"How many lumps, Sam? Two?"
They chatted there for 'alf an hour
When knock come at the door,
The King he goes
And finds the Duke of Wellington there, for sure.
"Good Afternoon," says Duke of Wellington,
"Is Sam with thee?"
"Aye, he is an' all," says King,
"He's having a cup o' tea."
"Well that's a pretty thing," says Duke,
"That's pretty, I declare."
He catches sight of Sam and says,
"Sam, what's thar doing in there?"
Sam comes to door all jumpy like
And red as anything.
"Ah'm doing nothing, Duke," he cries,
"But having tea with King."
"Ah thought as there was summut up,"
The Duke coldly replied,
"Because I see thee musket
Leaning against rails outside."
"Some clumsy chap had knocked it down
It give me quite a scare,
So I stooped down and picked it up
Seeing as thee weren't there."
"You stooped and picked me musket up?" said Sam,
"Well, I declare,
And thee with thy lumbago, too,
I'll bet it made thee swear."
"I'll not wait for second cup," said Sam,
"Ah'll come with thee.
So Goodnight both your Majesties, and long live both your Majesties
And when tha's next in Lancashire, tha's tea's with me."