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by Marriott Edgar
Illustrations by John Hassall
Joe Ramsbottom is another poem of Edgar's that includes a term rapidly disappearing from the Northern English language: 'gormless', a gentle form of bird-brain stupidity and the bane of anyone with the Christian name 'Gordon' or the surname 'Gormley'.
The word comes from the Old Norse gaumr (heed). 'Gormless' can precede the intensifier 'ha'porth' (posh form, often shortened to 'ay-pth'), meaning a half-penny's worth. Example: "You've put salt in t' sugar pot, y' gormless ay-pth!"
This poem is where Joe dithers, schizophrenically talking to himself at length. Such intrapersonal communication is indeed a 'monologue'.
The poem goes on to show that talking to oneself helps concentration, can make sense of a situation and often permits our conscience to take control.
People do say that I'm gormless for talking to myself, and perhaps I am, because I often tell myself I'm gormless.
Joe Ramsbottom rented a bit of a farm One day Joe were ploughing his three-acre field He'd got a spare coulter at home in his shed, The accident 'appened not far from the place | |
He were going to ask... but he suddenly stopped, He were going off back when he turned to himself This 'eartened Joe up, so he set off again, Then he answered himself in a manner quite stern Joe knew this were right and he knew it were just, |
Joe Ramsbottom |
This suggestion that he were afraid of the Squire Then he said "After all as I've done in the past Then he said "Who is he to be puffed up wi' pride, |
Then he turned round and looked himself straight in the face, Then he said "I'm surprised at myself, so I am, |
His plough hits a rock |
Joe visits the Squire |
This argument brought him to Squire's front door, He said "P'raps you think yourself better than me, |