Seashells - inspiration (2)
We may be full-bloodied hunter-gatherer beer-swigging males, but we know she's the boss. And we need cunning tactics to survive.
A woman lives with her henpecked husband in a house near the sea. "We'll have mussels for dinner tonight. Go down to the beach and gather some." she commands. "And be quick. It took you three hours last time."
Without saying a word, the man pulls on his coat, picks up the old metal bucket and trudges out of the house, down to the beach.
To his surprise, the beach is full of mussels and it takes only a few minutes to fill the bucket to the top. "That's nice" he thinks, "maybe I'll pop into the pub for a quick jar before I go back home." and off he goes to the local tavern.
"Half pint of beer" he says. "No, wait, make that a full pint. It's been a long time since I've had a drink." and the barman serves him his beer.
Sitting in the corner of the pub he catches sight of an old school buddy. "Hey! Long time no see. Come and join me." and the two men settle down with their beers and chat away about the good ol' days.
"Let's have another drink" says the friend, and the evening wears on
"Closing time!" shouts the barman. "Oh no! She'll KILL me." cries the man. He picks up his bucket and races out of the door, down the road and back to his house.
As quietly as he can, he rushes up the steps to the front door. But the drink has taken its toll and he's not so steady on his feet. It only takes a slight trip on the last step to make him lose grip of the bucket handle. The metal bucket tumbles with a clang, scattering the contents all down the steps.
The door opens from within and his wife stands there, arms folded, steely eyes glaring at him.
The man slowly turns to look at the mussels and says "Come on, we're nearly there."