Jesus and the burglar
Q: What's orange and is like a parrot?
Two parrots, sitting on a perch. One asked the other, "Do you smell fish?"
Q: What do you call an eye-less fish?
Late one night, a burglar breaks into a house. He tiptoes through the living room but suddenly freezes in his tracks when he hears a loud voice shrieking: "Jesus is watching you!"
Silence returns to the house, so the burglar creeps forward again. "Jesus is watching you!" the voice cries and the burglar again stops dead in his tracks. Frightened, he switches on his torch and looks all around the room. And there, over in a dark corner, he sees a parrot sitting on a perch. "Jesus is watching you!" squawks the parrot.
"Phew!" sighs the burglar, "That's a relief; I thought my conscience was working overtime! Who's a clever parrot then? What's your name?"
"Bernard." replies the bird.
"Bernard? That's a stupid name for a parrot." sneers the burglar.
"Yes," replies the parrot, "and Jesus is a stupid name for a Rottweiler!"