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Did you hear the one about...

A piece of wood

SMILE!

Building construction quickies:

Joe needs some lumber for building a house, and goes into the shop:

Joe:
I need some wood.

Salesman:  
OK, how thick?

Joe:
Three inches.

Salesman:
Yes, and how wide?

Joe:
Six inches.

Salesman:
Right. Three by six. How long?

Joe:
Oh, a really long time. It's for a house.

(The next one may lose its punch if you are from outside the UK)

  • "'Xcuse me, mate. Is there a B&Q in York?"

    "Nah lad. There's a 'Y', an 'o', an 'r' and a 'k'.

  • Saw a documentary about how ships are held together.

    Rivetting!

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