Bob and Betty Hill
No serious joke (and there's yet another oxymoron) site about the English language could be complete without a collection of puns. Here's one of them.
Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, are honeymooning in Europe - Transylvania in fact. They are driving along a rather deserted country road. It is late, raining very hard and Bob can barely see ten feet in front of the car.
Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail. The car swerves and smashes into a tree. Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his new wife unconscious, with her head bleeding. Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to carry her to the nearest phone. Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road.
After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from an old, large house. He approaches the door and knocks. A minute passes then Igor, the butler, opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife, Betty. We've been hurt. Can I please use your phone?"
"I'm sorry," replies the butler, "but we don't have a phone. But my master is a doctor. Come in and I will get him." Bob brings his wife in. An elegant man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory."
With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table. After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more. The Hills' deaths upset the scientist greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his pipe organ. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house.
Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. As the music fills the lab, his eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty Hill's hand twitch. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise! He is further amazed as Betty sits straight up! Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory. He bursts in and exclaims:
"Master! Master! . . . The Hills are alive with the Sound of Music!"
(If that makes no sense to you, it means you're too young to remember the 1965 Rogers and Hammerstein movie.)