No serious joke (and there's yet another oxymoron) site about the English language could be complete without a collection of puns. Here's one of them.
A devout Christian lady wanted a pet dog and felt it important that the animal be "faithful" in a religious sense. So she went shopping.
At a kennel specializing in St Bernard's and other animals worthy of a dog collar, a particular dog called Rufus took her fancy.
She asked the salesman for a demonstration of the dog's piety, and Rufus was duly asked how many Apostles there were. He responded with twelve barks.
A Bible was brought out and Rufus was asked to find the Lord's Prayer, and with rapid dexterity his paws turned the pages to Matt. 6:9-13. The lady was impressed, purchased the animal, and took it home.
That night some friends visited. As a Christian she had to resist the urge to be proud and boastful, but nevertheless she was so stirred by her theological dog that she called him to show off just a little bit.
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The friends were also very impressed, and asked whether he could also do any usual dog tricks. The lady hadn't thought about "normal" tricks, but said, "Well let's try this." Once more she called the dog and slowly pronounced the command, "Heel"
Quick as a flash, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the lady's forehead, closed his eyes and bowed his head in prayer.