We think this pun is dead funny!
It's a rainy, windy night. A man walks home alone, down a dark, deserted street by the local cemetery. As he passes the gates, he hears a THUMP! in the darkness behind him. Stopping, he turns to see a coffin, on its end, thumping from side to side, and bouncing toward him - THUMP, THUMP, THUMP.
Terrified, the man turns and runs into the driving rain. Behind him, the coffin bounces faster - THUMP! THUMPITY, THUMP! He turns the corner onto his street and runs through his front gate, the coffin right behind him. He dashes into his house, slams the door shut, but the coffin just smashes its way in and chases the man upstairs. Desperate and scared to death, he bolts into the bathroom and locks the door.
TThe coffin bangs against the door, once ... twice ... and on the third time, the door explodes as the coffin crashes into the bathroom. Heart pounding and desperate, the man reaches out his hand and grabs everything and anything that he can throw at the coffin. Razor blades, bathroom scales, towels... but the coffin continues banging from side to side, faster and louder. THUMP!!! THUMP!!! THUMP!!! The man screams and reached for the last item on the shelf; a tiny bottle of cough medicine. Desperate, he throws it at the coffin...
...and the coffin stops!