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Camping tips

SMILE!

Camping: (n) Nature's way of making the hotel business look more appealing

  • When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.
  • Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match.
  • You'll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on the north side of your compass.
  • You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled sleeping bag by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several geese.
  • When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives you something to wipe your nose on.
  • The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite, makes excellent kindling.
  • Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers. The tricky part is getting them on the bears.

Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.

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